Saturday, August 25, 2012

Yee-Haw! Texas Judge Vows to Defend Lubbock County from Obama and the United Nations

Meanwhile, the jury is still out on the important question of whether there is something in the air or soil in Texas that makes people stupid, or whether stupid people just all move to Texas.

No clarification on this point can be had from the latest statement by Tom Head, a judge in Lubbock County, Texas.  Speaking to reporters from—you’ll never guess—Fox Television, he predicted civil war if Barack Obama is reelected as United States president, and vowed to stand alone if necessary against the United Nations.

Hizzoner, Tom Head
As Head put it, “He’s going to try and hand over the sovereignty of the United States to the U.N.  Okay.  What’s going to happen when that happens?  I am thinking worst case scenario—civil unrest, civil disobedience, civil war maybe.  And we’re not talking just a few riots here and demonstrations.  We’re talking Lexington, Concord, take up arms and get rid of the guy.  Now what’s going to happen if we do that, if the public decides to do that?  He’s going to send in U.N. troops.  I don’t want ’em in Lubbock County.  Okay.  So I’m going to stand in front of their armored personnel carrier and say, ‘You’re not coming in here.’  And the sheriff, I’ve already asked him, I said, ‘You gonna back me?’  He said, ‘Yeah, I’ll back you.’  Well, I don’t want a bunch of rookies back there.  I want trained, equipped, seasoned veteran officers to back me.”

Lubbock County, Texas.
As we speak, Ban-ki Moon is looking at this map in the U.N. war room, twirling his mustache,
and wondering how he could possibly conquer this last redoubt of freedom.
Later, when asked if the taxpayers would have to foot the bill for the civil war, Head said his statements had been taken out of context: “As emergency management director, I have to think of the worst-case scenario, and I used that as an example.”  Nothing like the mention of evil taxes to make a Texan Republican back-pedal from any statement.

Actually, come to think of it, my vote goes for something in the soil.

[You can read more about Texan sovereigntists and other separatist and new-nation movements, both famous and obscure, in my new book, a sort of encyclopedic atlas just published by Litwin Books under the title Let’s Split! A Complete Guide to Separatist Movements and Aspirant Nations, from Abkhazia to Zanzibar.  The book, which contains 46 maps and 554 flags (or, more accurately, 554 flag images), is available for order now on Amazon.  Meanwhile, please “like” the book (even if you haven’t read it yet) on Facebook and see this special announcement for more information on the book.]

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